Self Care Done Well Creates Efficacy.
Focus on Self Aware instead of Self Care
Written by: Adelee Penner
About half way through last year I started to see folks visibly cringe when the topic of self-care surfaced in the conversation.
It was so triggering for others that it became a four-letter word in some workplaces.
This was really interesting for me to see and I couldn’t help wanting to unpack the emotions and sort out what was happening.
What I found was really fascinating. Folks truly understood the significance of self-care and agreed with the concept. Where the idea started to loose people was when employers and folks in positions of authority started to decide for their staff what self-care should look like. Should is a pressure driven word that shames, devalues and creates one-size fits all situations. We need to collectively stop “shoulding” on those around us, in particular when it impacts someone’s ability to care for themselves in the way that works best for them.
We started to see policies about when folks can email, what constitutes a work day, how to use your vacation days, and many other things that well-meaning people thought would empower their staff to indulge in self-care.
The problem with this notion is that you are the only person that can define what self-care is for you. It is in the name – self. When we are told what to do it challenges our agency and efficacy to care for ourselves in the way that means the most to us.
A great example of a leader considering a different model comes from the Superintendent of Fort McMurray Public School Division, Annalee Nutter. As part of the closure of her correspondence she shares this note (that I will be emulating):
**“I acknowledge my working hours may not coincide with yours. Please respond when it is convenient and appropriate for your schedule.”
What a powerful model for self-care. It doesn’t dictate hours, or shame folks for when they respond – rather it opens up and holds space for people to consider what is best for them. This is what leadership for the creation of self-care looks like in action.
The other reason that folks felt that their employers were not attending to their needs where that self-care is often left for people to attend to outside their work day. In my keynote addresses, professional learning sessions and coaching work, I asked my clients – when were they most likely to practice self-care. 97% of all asked responded with activities and events that took place before or after the work day. Events from the spa, gym, workouts, professional learning, seminars, hair cuts, time with friends and family all took place outside the work day. Their employers had not created space for them to practice self-care during the work day. How can we change that?
Here are a few ideas:
- Create time and space for folks to collaborate and share what they are working on and receive meaningful feedback that will build efficacy.
- Move conversations to a “Walk N’Talk”. Rather than sitting down and discussing an idea or problem take it around the block, walk way, stair well or out of the usual space. This will feel like a mini-respite from the regular day activities.
- Create space for folks to eat lunch together. This can be a very big game changer in your culture and how folks choose to work together. Check out this article about “Why it is still important to Have Lunch Together.” or this one from Harvard Review about “Take Your Lunch Break.
- Passion Projects were a buzz word a few years ago – the concept and research still stand. Find ways to give your employees opportunities to work on projects or initiatives that they are passionate about.
Let me know what other ideas have been effective for you and your team to create time in the work day to care for yourself and others…
Let’s talk again soon. Take good care of yourself.
